wakeup-flawlessxo:

Female orgasms are not that difficult. If your partner tells you they are, then tell them they can handle their own orgasms from now on. Anyone who is too lazy to figure out how to pleasure you doesn’t deserve you getting them off.

sandvviches:

teacher: its pajama day
that one kid: WHAT IF I SLEEP NAKED HAAAHAAHA

(Source: qothqueen)

the-goddamazon:

iamthedukeofurl:

wholockian-at-hogwarts:

WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????

We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw. 

LMFAOOOOOOO

handjob:

terrakion:

handjobs are fuckin lame i can do that myself

image

squided:

"bisexuals are just being greedy"

This statement is correct.  I want all the donuts to myself.  No sharon you can’t have a donut.  Yes, I know there are 24 donuts.  Yes, I want them all for myself.  Fuck off sharon.